A Penne For Your Thoughts.
When I was in primary 3 a new girl started in my class. She was called Nicola and she was nice and interesting and really pretty and had a tiny wee Italian mum. I bump into Nicola and/or her mum every few years and they’re always an absolute joy. Just generally lovely people. One year, when I think we were 9, Nicola had a birthday sleepover at her Granny’s B&B in Pitlochry. I still vividly remember coming home from the sleepover and being so tired that I thought I was going to die. Why do children want to do all-nighters at a sleepover? Another vivid memory involving Nicola was the night I stayed at hers for tea and my life changed forever.
We sat down at the table and the smell hit me. I was intrigued. It was bacony. It was cheesy. The windows were all steamed up. It was carbonara and my mind was blown. Following that night, everything in my life changed. My priorities shifted as I began to see the world in a different light. A pasta-light.
My house was a potato or rice house. I’m one of 5 children so finding stuff that all of us liked was difficult so there wasn’t a huge meal options pool. Paul laughs at my potato obsession. Every meal has to have a potato aspect, even if it’s just a solitary side of chips or mash between us. I just really like potatoes ALRIGHT.
When I was old enough, my chore at Robertson HQ was making the tea. I enjoyed doing it, so it wasn’t really a chore. There was never an official giving of the chore from Mum and Dad, but I liked cooking and wanted to help so that was that. I would try to spice things up a bit by throwing in pasta. It seemed so exotic. Picture a chic Italian woman, sitting at a cosy restaurant, dressed in a black dress and heels, with her hair stylishly swept up. As she twirls her fork in a plate of steaming, beautifully presented pasta, she exudes effortless elegance and sophistication. Her gestures and expressions are passionate, and she savours every bite of the dish she is so fond of. It is clear that for her, enjoying good food is an art form, and a way of life. I am her, she is me. In reality, though, i’m a fat 14 year old in the Strathtay Road flats eating Tesco Value penne pasta covered with a jar of dolmio.
I am now a grown up. I have my own money, and I spend my money on the things I love. And I love pasta. It's versatile, comforting, and can be paired with a range of sauces and ingredients. Whether you prefer classic spaghetti, creamy fettuccine alfredo, or indulgent lasagne, there's a pasta dish to suit every mood. My first morning in my very first flat I had lasagne for breakfast because I was a bill-paying adult and I wanted it.
Pasta is a quick and simple meal option, perfect for busy weeknights or lazy weekends. With endless possibilities for flavours and ingredients, it's a versatile dish that can be customised to suit any taste. Pasta can be dressed up or kept simple, and it's always delicious. Plus, it's a great option for meal prep or feeding a crowd. Whether you're a beginner cook or an experienced chef, pasta is a tried-and-true meal that's easy to love. To summarise, it’s hard to go wrong with pasta.
Arguably the easiest pasta dish, and probably the tastiest, is carbonara. Carbonara originated in the Lazio region of Italy, specifically in Rome. Its origin is somewhat uncertain, but it is believed to have been created around the mid-20th century. The dish's name is derived from the word "carbone," which means "coal," a nod to the black pepper used in the recipe. The traditional ingredients consist of spaghetti, eggs, pecorino or Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, pancetta or guanciale (cured pork jowl), and black pepper. There’s a myth about carbonara being born from rations during one of the World Wars when folk would get bacon and powdered egg to feed themselves. I don’t actually know (Google apparently isn’t always correct. I know, shocking.) but what I do know is that it’s delicious, easy and pretty quick.
Carbonara
Ingredients for 2 servings:
225g spaghetti (I actually use linguine because Paul says it tastes nicer. I don’t understand either.)
150g chopped pancetta or bacon lardons (smoked or unsmoked, whatever you prefer)
1 egg and 3 egg yolks (keep the egg whites for pavlova or something. You can freeze them!)
4 tablespoons of grated pecorino or Parmigiano-Reggiano, plus extra to serve
4 tablespoons of double cream (this is optional. Some folk prefer it with cream, some folk will spit in your face if you use cream. I’d suggest making both and sticking to which you prefer. You do you, Boo.)
Freshly cracked black pepper. A big ol’ pinch.
Method
Throw your pasta of choice into a pan of salted boiling water and cook to your preferred level of done-ness. I go for 9-10 minutes for dried pasta.
Put your pancetta or lardons into cold pan. Stick on a low heat for a couple of minutes. This will help render some of the fat. Turn up to a medium head and fry until crispy. It usually takes me about 7 minutes. Switch the heat off and leave it in the pan once you’re at your preferred level of crispiness.
While your lardons are frying and your pasta is boiling get your sauce organised. Put the egg, yolks, cheese, black pepper and cream if you’re using it in a bowl and whisk together.
When your pasta is almost done use a mug, cup or wee jug to remove some of the starchy pasta water and set it aside.
When your pasta is done drain it and return to the pan. Quickly add the bacon into the pasta and scrape as much of the oil and delicious bacon-ness onto the pasta as you can. Give the pasta a stir, so the oil coats everything. Add in your egg mixture along with a a wee bit of the pasta water (like 4 tablespoons-ish, just a sploosh) and stir it all together. The heat from the pasta will cook the eggs. You’ll be tempted to stick the heat back on under the pan which is fair enough, but it’ll almost definitely scramble the eggs. It’ll still taste fabulous but it’ll be less smooth and shiny, and a bit lumpy.
Split between 2 bowls/plates and sprinkle with more cheese and Bob’s your uncle.
NB. I’m also a large fan of using leftover gammon in place of the pancetta, and frying it off in olive oil. Oh, mamma!
