Look After Yourself.
I was on TikTok the other night (not like me haaaaaaa) and came across a clip of a video from a breakfast show where some posh clown was saying people who go to restaurants alone are weird, and it really annoyed me. He really frosted my cookies.
Some people may be scared of being alone for various reasons such as fear of not having anyone to talk to or share their feelings with, fear of not being able to handle situations on their own, fear of loneliness and isolation, and fear of negative thoughts and emotions. The idea of having time alone with their own mind is just too much for some. Social media and technology have made it easier to stay connected with others, leading some people to feel uneasy about being without constant stimulation or support from others. Ultimately, the fear of being alone may stem from a lack of self-confidence and a reliance on others for emotional validation and support. When I was younger I hated the thought of other people thinking i’d been stood up, so would never have ventured into a restaurant alone.
I know for a lot of people the idea of doing things alone can be scary. Going to the cinema, a restaurant, even for a coffee alone can be daunting. The vast majority of people aren’t in the position where they can drop what they’re doing and head off on their travels. But some very lucky people can, and a lot of them don’t purely because they don’t want to go alone.
Travelling alone can be a transformative experience. It forces you out of your comfort zone and encourages self-discovery. You become more independent and self-reliant, and you also gain a sense of confidence in your ability to navigate unfamiliar surroundings. You will meet new people, and spark a sense of adventure and openness to different cultures. Ultimately, travelling alone can be a powerful tool for personal growth and can lead to a greater understanding of yourself and the world. It can also be absolutely fucking terrifying. And sometimes, regardless of where you are in the world, you’ll really want your Mum.
Anyone who knows me well enough will have heard about The Australia Saga™ that was my childhood. Emotional damage aside, it was pretty gnarly being able to see giant swathes of the world as a tiny wee kid. Having a very travel-ly start to life will do one of two things to you; give you the flavour for travelling, or make you want to find your happy place and never, ever leave. For me, it’s the former.
It sounds cliché AF, but taking some time to go “find yourself” is unlike anything you’ll experience in life. Taking time to reflect on your values, beliefs, and goals in life. What you think you should want and what you actually want are seldom the same.
Like most people, my mind is broken. A myriad of diagnoses is all very good, but it doesn’t stop it from feeling like I have ants in my brain. Sometimes the only thing that helps me realise how antsy i’m feeling is by stepping away from the norm. Being forced to switch off autopilot awakens me. Taking myself out for a solo coffee or lunch is one one of my favourite things to do. People watching, eating in quiet contemplation, having conversations in my own mind. It’s wonderful.
Taking time off is a crucial part of practicing self-care. It allows you to reset and recharge, which can lead to improved mental health and overall well-being. Whether it's a holiday, a day to yourself, or simply stepping back from a stressful situation, time off can help reduce stress and increase productivity.
Despite working hard to earn a living, many are unable to keep up with their daily expenses due to rising costs and stagnant wages. As a result, more and more people are experiencing financial insecurity, which can have long-term effects on their wellbeing and quality of life. It's important to remember that (for the vast majority of people) your employer's main focus is on running a successful business and making profits. While they may appreciate and value your contributions, ultimately their priority is not your individual wellbeing. If you got hit by a bus they wouldn’t mourn you and create a shrine in your honour, they’d give your work to someone else and try to find someone to replace you for a smaller salary than you were on.
So, aye. My unsolicited opinions are as follows: prioritise time for yourself. If you can, take a trip alone so you are forced to listen to your own mind. Don’t prioritise work over anything else, they probably don’t give a shit about you.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
