The Easiest Cake Ever.
I have a condition that stops me from losing weight. It’s called “being a greedy bastard.” I just really like food. I am also frightfully lazy. *The Easiest Cake Ever enters stage right.*
Baking isn't for everyone. While some may enjoy the art of mixing ingredients and creating delicious treats from scratch, others may find it daunting or simply not enjoyable. The process of measuring and following a recipe can be tedious and time-consuming, and the end result may not always live up to expectations. I recently spend a couple of hours making a gingerbread only to throw it on the floor. I wasn’t furious about it at all.
A standard Victoria sponge always has the same components; fat (butter, oil, margarine), sugar, eggs, flour. Some folk add vanilla, or any other essence or extract. You’ve got your chocolate cake, your carrot cake, your coffee and walnut cake, your red velvet cake. Endless possibilities! All these cakes have 1 thing in common: effort.
We all remember lockdown and it’s various baking phases. First was banana bread. Then sourdough starters which inevitably led to sourdough bread. Then, after a viral TikTok, homemade butter. Many minds were blown upon learning butter is just double cream that’s been beaten into submission. Homemade butter on homemade sourdough toast with a side of homemade buttermilk pancakes and homemade banana bread. Who knew a global pandemic could be so heckin’ wholesome?
Anyhow, I digress. Easy cakes! Seeing all this homemade butter made me wonder if, in place of butter, I could cut out the middle man and just use cream in cake batter. And I am delighted to confirm that yes you blinkin’ can. “But, Joanne, that doesn’t exactly make anything easier?” I hear you cry. Alas, there is more!
A standard Victoria sponge has equal weights butter, sugar and flour and then eggs. So Little Miss Idle here decided to remove any need to weigh. Me? Work-shy? Never!
I have a KitchenAid to remove any manual labour from baking (see various references to my lackadaisical attitude) but a hand mixer or just some brute bloody strength will do the job. You’ll need an oven that goes up to 180, a couple of 8” cake tins, a bowl, your mixer or a combination of a whisk and a working arm/hand.
The Easiest Cake Ever
Ingredients:
two 300ml carton of double cream (get 2 x 300ml cartons, you’ll be tempted to put a 600ml but it’ll scunner your measurements and RUIN EVERYTHING)
Self-raising flour
Sugar
4 eggs
1 teaspoon of baking powder (the cake will work without this, but adding it will make the cake a bit fluffier and lighter)
Jam (dealer’s choice for flavour and amount)
about a tablespoon of icing sugar
Method:
Grease and line your 2 cake tins and stick your oven on to 180C/160Cfan to get cosy.
Get your bowl and pour in the whole carton of cream. Wash the cream carton out with warm soapy water, rinse thoroughly and dry dry dryyyy. Whisk the cream up with your mixer for about a minute of by hand for a few minutes. You want soft peaks.
Get the clean, dry cream carton and fill it with sugar. Add the sugar to the bowl with the cream. Fill the carton with flour and add it to the bowl. (You don’t have to get flour everywhere like I did. Add the eggs into the bowl along with the teaspoon of baking powder if you’re using it and whisk together until smooth.
Divide the mixture between the 2 cake tins and bake for 35-45 minutes. The edge of the cake will come away from the pans and a knife/toothpick will come out of the cake clean. Some ovens are quicker than others, it’ll be golden brown and, to put it simply, will look like cake when it’s done.
Let the cakes cool in the tins. Remove one from the tin and remove the greaseproof and place flat-side down on a plate. If the top of the cake is domed them slice the top off so it’s flat (eat it - that’s your cook’s treat). Top with jam (strawberry ‘til I die) then more whipped cream (that’s what the second carton of cream is for) then top with the second sponge. Dust with icing sugar and there you go!
